yet another AI recap

wow, i'm going to start this by saying: is it me or was shrill a little too eager to come out from the backstage? gurl be feelin like the diva she ain't! I hope to god it's not because she's the token black diva this season. As if shrilly needed any more unecessary pimpage. Anyone notice how Anoop wasn't even shown on camera until he welcomed smokey robinson into the LA mansion for around 1.78263 seconds?

anyway, unto the reviews:

Matt Giraud (Let's Get it On):
I love this song! haha! The dancing and the fan-hand-shaking was awkward, but I really liked the vocals for what it's worth. I mean, this guy is still not as endeared to me (whuts?) as other singers, but this week made me respect quite a measure. he just looked like he struggled at the start, and was a little too growly in the beginning, but he played it well. Still not JT and not MB. He's good

Pauler: sexy cool vibe? uh no... whattabout awkward/corny?


Kris Allen (How Sweet It Is):
First two songs, two songs that I love. And even better, two songs that I love performed very well! Kris is quickly becoming my favorite male performer, after Gokey (HA WHAT A JOKE). Seriously though, coming from the nice ballad to this fun song, this guy just knows how to market himself. haha. so, just read my comments from last week regarding how he sounds like a professional. Sure, sometimes his intonation/enunciation was a little cheezy, and his side mouth was more obvious this week (making for a sort of slight kind of annoying thing) but still, this guy is gooood. safe, with flying colors yo. His wife is too cute.

And Simon, I like that he's not too cocky.


Scott McIntyre (You Can't Hurry Love):
Ryan Seacrest: I can see the baby grand behind you...

ugh. seriously. when will this guy let go of his friggin tuneless, muzak-quality ballads? His voice is seriously nothing spectacular... in fact, I'll even go out on a limb and say that his timbre is borderline annoying (I can't tell if it's nasal, or unrounded, or whatever).

Wait, what's that? You're saying that his rendition of you can't hurry love wasn't a ballad arrangement? you don't say... I never would've guessed.

Aw, blind guy got dissed... not simon's going to hell. well, he is anyway, but you know what I mean. GO SIMON. SAY IT LIKE YOU SEE IT.


yeah paula, give Simon a box of rainbow colors... right after the blind guy sings pauler. good job pauler. so smart pauler.


Megan Joy Godess of the Awkward Dancing (For Once in my Life):
I really feel like this girl is ont everyone's cup of tea, but I swear, I love the raspy jazzy attitude in her timbre. I feel bad though that she was good in the beginning, but then she ended up being all dancy and epileptic. I still love this girl though, and my heart so greatly feels that she deserves another chance.

and surprise surprise, irrelevant judge made a relevant comment when she mentioned "my guy" as being a good song for her. brava, you actually have a brain!


Anoop (Ooh Baby Baby):
OMG I FRIGGIN LOVE THIS SONG. Sadly though, Anoop wasn't able to channel the love in the verses for me.... but when he came to the chorus, oh anoop, despite your thick eyebrows and awkward college-student vibe, you almost kinda did it! Again, refer to the greatness that was LaToya London when she did this song. There's that sensuality/pleading that the song needs. yo.

His version was, honestly, very meh, and I was tempted to tune out sometimes. *le sigh* I don't know where the judges pulled out what they said. It didn't work for me

Hey guys, remember what Victor Melling in Miss Congeniality said? "a brief shining moment, and then that mouth." --> irrelevant judge, that one's for you.

Michael "If Gokey has his dead wife, I have my lonely daughter" Sarver (Ain't Too Proud to Beg):
Sarver, you don't have no soul roots. And Sarver, if you're gonna eye-fuck the camera, make sure there's something behind your soul-less eyes. k? And if you're gonna do the closed-eyes thing, make sure there's some pretty powerful vocals behind it to justify the cheezy action. I don't know why I'm referring so much to AI3, but remember George Huff? That is, by far, my favorite rendition of AtPtB.

Ugh. I'm so disturbed by his non-emotion and his emptiness. To be honest, I'd much rather suffer the quirky eccentric unpredictability of Megan than suffer this guy's faux-passion.

Pauler, not all high notes are 'A's ok?
Say it like it is, Simown.

omg, was he really 3 seconds away from crying? keep it together man, Megan handled it better than you and she was given worse comments!


Shrill (Heatwave):
Black girl crying over black history. Shrill, will you never cease to find reasons to get pimped every week? from MJ love, to "patriotic country" and now this? you, I guess are a "genius" of your own right. Too bad your stylistic sense isnt as well developed. three weeks of bad outfits. HAHA. anyway, onto the song.

This week she personified herself a thousand times over: she was shrill if I ever heard shrill. She'll definitely be safe between her pimpage story and her shrilliness (which america seems to love), but I know for myself that this was nothing spectacular. I expected more from her. yes, I actually did expect something other than shrill-ness from her. seriously. I couldn't feel the melody in the song at all from her, she was just screaming all over the place! UGH. I FEEL INSULTED. it was like "musical" rape. Not.fun.

but seriously simon, rough criticism followed by pimpage? can we stop the pimpage? puhhhleeeease. stop the lil pimpage. You're making *huhu* me *huhuhu* cryyy *huhuhuhu*

Adam Lambert (Tracks of my Tears):
wait, was Pauler sucking on Simon's finger? :/ What's up with the Zac Efron circa Hairspray look? See, compared to alst week, I appreciated the tuned down effort. Stop it with the ghoulish falsetto's though... are you *that* kind of one trick pony? *le sigh* Another one of those muzak singers. That was passable and safe, but definitely nowhere near deserving of a standing O or the rio grande rapids from underneath the judge's table.

SIT DOWN irrelevant judge, SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP. and while you're at it, learn to count, bitch. "I have 6 words for you. One of the best performances of the night!" SERIOUSLY?! SEEEERIOUSLY?!!?!?!?
Simon? you're turning on me? how was that the best performance? *tears*

he is ok in my book not by his own merit, but by the other contestants' shortcomings. that is all.

Pretentious "nothing's sacred to me but me" Dead-wife-pimper (Get Ready):
With each passing week, this guy makes me feel so bad for my friend whom he kinda looks like. Honestly, my friend is worth so much more than this guy. I swear, if this guy tries to pass another week with shouting and "quirky" dancing and growling and by making the band/back up singers carry him.... UGH. Force this guy to sing a righteous ballad, and let's see if he doesnt fall on his face.

getthatsmuglookonyourface. thank you simon, thank you.

Allison RachelRayv.2.0 (Papa was a Rolling Stone):
I love love love how she injects her flavor and attitude into the song. She always does the theme+a sprinkling of her flavor which is why it works so well! I love the clapping by the background singers. haha. She was, as per the definition I posted earlier, a professional tonight. and people, this girl is what, 16 years old or something? how can you not love her?




Top 3:
Kris (top of the top)
Matt (righteous second)

Who I feel should be in the bottom three:
Megan (though it breaks my heart)
Scott
Shrill

Who I feel will be in the bottom three:
Megan (boot *tears*)
Scott
Michael

UNLESS Megan gets the panic/pity vote and is safe, then its
Megan
Scott (boot!)
Michael