An Interim Beginning.

I like the particular ambiguity of this blog entry's title. It can be interpreted several ways, all of which, after careful consideration, seem to fit my purposes.

1.) An Interim Beginning- this blog entry marks the beginning of an interim, that is, a period of time between two events or "eras". It would be appropriate (to some degree) to climb the town steeple tomorrow and shout out to the sleepy denizens of Irvine that "This, ladies and gentlemen, is the end of an era!"

Why is this the end of an era, you ask? Well, this is the end of my personal era of questioning. You see, for much of the middle part of highschool, I became obsessed with the idea of superiority- that is, I was utterly convinced that on some irreproachable aspect, I was better than anyone. Take that singular definition and apply it to my being such a multi-dimensional person, then you could say that one way or another, I was better than everyone. Late high school, however, I was knocked off from my tower, and I realized that I wasn't better than most anyone. Therefore, I climbed the school church's belltower that day and shouted to the world that an era had passed. The era that was now in place was one of questioning and searching. If I was not better than everyone, then I would at least strive to attain that asymptotic goal. Since then, until a while ago, I considered myself an amateur philosopher in the order of self-knowledge. By the pythia's age-old advice, I sought to know myself by questioning the world. My thirst for knowledge became akin to the thirst experienced by a parachuter (parachutist?) landing in the middle of the desert 3 days prior.

Now, however, is the end of an era. I've asked questions time and again, only to end up frustrated at the lack of answers. Moreso, I've grown tired of the perpetual theoreticals and "no word answers." These are things such as love, such as desire, such as self-esteem and confidence. I've gathered the stones of the world and have not found these ideas etched onto them. Therefore, I am now shifting to the philosophy of "learning by doing." Experiencing, so to speak. I feel like some kind of warrior with the bulk of too much armor (the armor being a metaphor for theoretical knowledge, here.) I plan to shed off all but the most essential of coverings and march into the training battlegrounds of life. I will get wounded, but hopefully, my battlescars will do me more good than harm. I may end up calloused, but any and every emotion I come accross will definitely be real.

This, however, is the beginning of a transition. One that I am sure will be long and painful.

2.) An Interim Beginning: If it's not the beginning of a gap, then it must be a gap of a beginning. As was heavily outlined in the point above, I've spent a majority of the recent times trying to fill this experiential gap within me with theoretical and self-gained knowledge. As can be inferred, this theoretical satiation (is that a word, from root "satiate?) did not completely quench my thirst, although it may have seemed to do so. Imagine a box that you are about to check-in as carry on luggage. The hard, tangible stuff you want to send is quite small, but bulky. It takes up a lot of the weight limit, but it can bounce around its vessel and ultimately rip the seams of the box. Therefore, to keep things "full", you stuff it with styrofoam peanuts or bubble wrap. The bubble wrap is now the metaphor for my theoretical philosophizing. It definitely effectively takes the place of experience, but it's no perfect substitute for it. Therefore, (although I'm not exactly apologizing), I am now starting that phase of analyzing and appraising all my theoretical knowledge, and seeking to replace it with its equivalent, but ultimately more variable (note the paradox) counterparts of actual experience. This is sounding too much like the first point, so I'm ending it here.

3.) An Interim Beginning- Still drawing from that last idea. If you read the sidebar of this blog, it mentions that this blog is for my observations in my neophyte year here in my new home. Well, it hasn't been a year yet, but time does fly. I've realized, through that hasty characterization from when I first made this blog, that I'm not exactly comparing things from across the pacific. I'm just comparing things from across the ultimately more vast expanse of my personal interpretation of things and the reality of events. With this newfound realization, I hope I can bridge the interim of that beginning and start a whole new paradigm of reflection and self-actualization.

4.) An Interim Beginning- I have also been contemplating for some time now copying sincerely-john's opening "stickified" blog post wherein he introduces himself. I might do that some time from now, but for the time being, consider this my interim beginning. The beginning to my blog for some short amount of time. Maybe it'll be for that transitional era; maybe sooner, may longer... who knows?

What I do know is that I want to share my theme song with you guys. So, without further ado, Pacificism's theme song (to be used heavily if my life were to be made into a movie)